"Then, I felt it. I call it the vortex. Not a good one to be stuck in either. I started not being able to go two days without drinking at night. I tried to balance it. I tried to moderate, but I couldn’t. I had a few handful of embarrassing, rock bottom moments. They helped for a little, but didn’t really. My son was getting older and noticing more of my drinking when we went out to eat. He’d ask , “Are you going to order a Martinez?”
"Hi all! I’m Andrea. 38-year-old mom, wife, teacher, self-help studying guru, and an alcoholic.
I didn’t drink in my teens or attend keg parties. I was a smoker. It calmed my nerves, kept me thin ( I’m a recovered bulimic), and made me look oh so cool and tough. NOT!
I went to college, turned 21, didn’t care about drinking. I got a job, married the love of my life, and a year later got pregnant. I drank when I got married but not to excess. The moment I learned I was pregnant I put down the smokes and never touched them again. I gave up alcohol and I wish I could tell you I didn’t pick it up again, but I did.
A year into my son’s life I felt the stress and anxiety. Our son was always sick and needed two surgeries. I was constantly worried that something might be wrong with him. At one point he was speech delayed which brought up more worry, which led to more drinking. I’d drink at night. It was my way to unwind. But of course, having one drink was not enough. I had to get buzzed, or I had to pass out. I was a good mom (thought I was) I had a career, I did the housework, I cooked...I deserved it.
Mornings sucked. Headaches, stomach aches, dreading the day, and feeling the guilt. I folded half wet laundry the night before. Or, I started a fight over something stupid with my husband. I was NOT a nice drunk. I was a plain asshole.
I relied on alcohol for family events (cause you know how fun some of those can be). Sometimes I got really drunk. Sometimes my husband begged me not to drink and I just snuck a few.
Then, I felt it. I call it the vortex. Not a good one to be stuck in either. I started not being able to go two days without drinking at night. I tried to balance it. I tried to moderate, but I couldn’t. I had a few handful of embarrassing, rock bottom moments. They helped for a little, but didn’t really. My son was getting older and noticing more of my drinking when we went out to eat. He’d ask , “Are you going to order a Martinez?”
In November of 2017 I had a Sunday were I drank way too much. The next morning, I did my normal apologies to my husband. He looked at me and said , “ You’ll never change. Life is always going to be this way with you. What am I going to do?” BOOM! No way was I going to be like this for the rest of my life. After all the trying, this time I finally quit. I was motivated, I wanted it, I was plain sick of this asshole named Alcohol controlling my life.
I didn’t attend AA. I relied on podcasts, books, and later on joined the Sober Mom Tribe. I did the 30 Day Sober Challenge with Alyson (The Sober Mom Coach) as well. I also relied on coffee, seltzer, and my local cupcake shop for the first year. I’ve learned a ton through this experience. As of now, I am in the process of launching my own website onesobermommy.com. I will be blogging about my experiences and sharing the tools that helped me maintain my sobriety.
As of today, I’ll be two years sober in November. My family is amazing. My son is an honor student and gifted musician. My husband and I are closer than ever. I thank God and the angels daily for the gift of sobriety. I treasure my sobriety and hope to inspire others to take the leap. It’s not easy, but the rewards are what it’s about. I now live a life I’m beyond proud of."