A few months before I got sober I remember a meme I posted. It was when those here’s your flavor Oreo memes were popular. This Oreo flavor was the “Suburban Mom”. I’ll let you take a second and give me your best guess.
…coffee and avocados
…La Croix and chocolate
…Xanax and Franzia (wine)
Ding ding ding!!
If you guessed that. You won. Not sure what you win, but it’s definitely not the Mom of the Year Award. For those that are reading this and are appalled that I just said that. I get it. I was YOU, just 22 months ago.
I had shared that meme on my Instagram page with the caption, “That’s me. The suburban soccer mom rolling up to my son’s soccer practices and games with a to go cup of wine, and Xanax to pass out when I get home.” I cringe even just writing that.
A woman who had followed me for a while made a comment. And I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was similar to “mom of the year right here”. I got so offended and was like who are you to judge me for having wine like all the other moms. I attacked her back and blasted her on my page. Ugh. I wish I could remember who she was because I want to sincerely from the bottom of my heart apologize to her. She was right. Drinking wine and taking Xanax isn’t normal and shouldn’t be glorified.
If you know me, you know I love a good sense of humor. I’m a sarcastic smart ass. But now looking back at it, it’s not fucking funny. There are mothers dying every day from alcoholism. 88,000 people die from alcohol every year, which is 20,000 more than people who die from opioids. Yet it’s not considered an epidemic. Is your mind boggled just as much as mine? Good. In our society we glamorize alcohol, like it’s the nectar of the Gods. Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s not worse than an illegal drug like heroin.
Before anyone else feels the need to be like how dare you. I’m not talking about the moms that have a glass of wine here and there or every night for that matter. I don’t care if someone drinks. Let me say that again for the people in the back. I DO NOT CARE IF YOU DRINK. What I do care about is the messaging behind these memes that I see all day, everyday.
What brought me to write this post today was a meme I saw on a popular Instagram page geared towards mothers. On the top it said, “When you realize being a parent is a lot harder than you thought it was going to be.” Then on the bottom under a picture of a woman having a drink was, “I’m gonna be an alcoholic by the time this shit is over.” I saw red and couldn’t help but comment on it. Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth closed, but then I feel like I’m giving in. Saying nothing to me feels like defeat.
Who says their kids are going to turn them into alcoholics? First of all, if you can’t parent without wine, then I suggest seeing a therapist. Second of all, being an alcoholic isn’t glamorous. It’s pure hell. Constantly thinking about when your next drink is going to be, hiding it in different cups so no one will notice you’re drinking wine out of a cup at 9 am, and the most important of all not being the parent you could be if you weren’t hungover. The alcohol marketing geared towards mothers needs to stop. It’s hard enough being a parent, now add being sober to the mix and it’s a nightmare.
I guess my point of all this is I understand that you think it’s funny and it isn’t causing any harm, but you’re wrong. The number of deaths from alcohol keeps increasing every year. That should be your first red flag that something isn’t right. Not to mention in the last few weeks there’s been articles saying no amount of alcohol is considered safe or “healthy”. We’re all being fooled by the alcohol companies and they’re laughing in our faces. The more it gets promoted as “mommy juice” and the only way you’ll make it through motherhood is to drink, the more women will buy because they think it’s the norm to drink all the time. And not to mention they won’t think they have a problem and maybe they actually don’t. But there are a lot of moms who are scared to admit it because they feel they won’t fit in anymore. We shouldn’t be the outcasts for living life to the fullest, and I wish more people would realize that.
The memes will continue, the apparel will keep being sold, and alcohol won’t stop being promoted everywhere we turn until we speak up and say enough is enough. The sad part is I don’t spend my days looking to call out people. It just appears in my Facebook and Instagram feed all the time. I’m not saying to engage in confrontation. All I’m saying is open your eyes to what’s happening. I’m not here to change the world. But I am here to make it a little less uncomfortable for the mothers who are trying their damn best to stay sober. In the meantime, I’m not judging you if you drink so don’t throw that in my face. And if you’re getting super defensive like I was before I got sober, then you may need to look inward.
Lastly, know what’s even more amazing? I wrote this while at my son’s soccer practice. It blows my mind how much more I get accomplished and the bigger purpose I have for life now. I’m not just going through the motions and drinking my life away anymore. And for that I will be forever grateful.
Authors - Various